I used to be afraid that I had peaked at a young age- I had already been the best I’ll ever be and done the most amazing thing I will ever do. Being a young entrepreneur is a double-edged sword. While the world sees success, the individual minds and often conceals an entirely different set of emotions and side effects, including fear and doubt.
At the age of 18, I started my first business that was successful enough to allow me to pay my way through an AA Degree. Then, at the ripe age of 22, I started another company that reached a higher level of success. I took an investment of $100 and turned it into a business that grossed over $350,000 a year in just 2 years. The company grew, the business prospered, then the business failed- well kind of… I wanted it to grow to a more sustainable version of itself that would require me to be on the road less. Turns out this was not the best forum or recipe for success for my company. I made several costly restructuring moves in an effort to expand my wholesale and eCommerce channels, but nothing sold my headbands like the woman who owned the hands that created them. Also, headbands sell best when people have an opportunity to try them on in person. My pieces were made from semi-precious gemstones and freshwater pearls and cost $15 – $995, so it was a sizable fashion investment, and people were more likely to make a purchase after experiencing wearing a headband. My efforts to reduce the need for in-person retail sales ultimately dammed the cashflow and caused my company to suffer. Looking back, after a few years of life experience and an MBA, I would do it all differently. However, that is the thing about life, we operate in the now and plan for the later- we don’t get the past back. Making the decision to no longer pursue my vision for my company felt like I was banishing part of myself. My company was as much part of my identity as my brown eyes or Justin Timberlake-shaped birthmark on my thigh. The only options I saw at the time were 1. Continue and miss so much life with my family and friends, or 2. Stop, regroup, and make some life changes. I could not continue if I wanted to be home with my family more and on the road less. I had to make a choice, and I chose family.
Failure hurt. Like knocked down to the ground and can’t breathe hurt. I had to take a knee (for me that was going back to teaching) and decide what to do next- this period, the waiting and getting by period, was marked by a constant fear that after accomplishing so much so young, I wouldn’t ever be that good again. What’s the point of striving for greatness if I had peaked at 28?!
In my waiting time, I came up with ideas, played them out in my mind, and pierced holes into every option. Failure was imminent. (If you know me well and you’re reading this, your jaw may be on the ground. Positive, happy Kasey can be negative and worried, yep- the cat is out of the bag, I’m human. I worry sometimes. I just fight it as hard as I can every time worry rears its ugly head.) After feeling like I needed more tools to have done a better job building my company, I decided that going back to school to learn rather than teach would be the best COA. This, as of today, would be the most pivotal decision in my life.
I could write endlessly about my experiences that stemmed from the University of Tampa’s Executive Master of Business Administration (EMBA) program. But I won’t here and now. I’ll file them away for future blog posts. To condense things, the people I met, the knowledge I gained, and the forum that presented itself for me to prove I’ve got project management skills are the three pieces that brought me to where I am today, which is back in the pursuit of greater things than I have ever accomplished.
Recently, for the first time since I left my business, I feel that the best is truly yet to come. I have not peaked, and I’m just getting started. The past few years have been a journey that had amazing moments but were also peppered with ugly, hard situations and feelings, but the brokenness helped me find more light (the cracks let the light in). I’ve learned so much about myself and people in general- good things and hard things. Amidst the chaos, I’ve grown the courage and strength to take more risks, cultivate a healthier relationship with failure and disappointment, and increased my confidence. Now I’m focused on looking into the future with hope.
“Difficulty creates the opportunity for self-reflection and compassion.” – Suzan-Lori Parks
Kasey Cleaver 